My friend Anthony

My friendship with Anthony started on our first day at secondary school and continued up to his early death in a car accident. Always Anthony never Tony or Ant, his parents were very much opposed to any diminutive. On that first school day we got together by a fortunate accident. Our school aped the public school system of “houses”. In our case this was totally synthetic and only used for infra school sports. Rather at a loss after lunch that first day I joined a group of new boys wandering to the edge of the playing field where there was some desultory wrangling about the merits of various houses. Anthony and I were the only members of Barfords house in the group so we stuck up for them and were thus thrown together.

From then on in our first year we were firm friends.  Anthony introduced me to train spotting which became a favourite activity. We exchanged visits. Like me he was an only child and Bill and Nancy, his parents, were a revelation to me. Bill was manager of the bleach works of a local tape manufacturer while Nancy was a clerk at a cold store. Bill was wiry, with a toothbrush moustache while Nancy was a slightly faded blonde. Both were younger that my parents and their attitudes and way of life was very different to my home life.

Bill would help with housework at weekends and then we would go out. We made trips to Rugby and Crewe where they shopped and Anthony and I spotted trains. One fine day they decided on a day out and we went for a picnic at Lake Vyrnwy. They had a pre war Morris 8 car which struggled on some hills.

It probably helped that I was the only boy from my primary school while Anthony, while one of several, had no friends among them.. We were otherwise rather similar in interests and abilities. The main difference was Anthony had a fine singing voice and was part of the school choir.

As we grew older inevitably while still friends we diverged a bit. Anthony was a good swimmer and spent a lot of time ogling girls at the baths. I was a non swimmer and far too shy around girls. In general Anthony was far more self confident and outgoing than I was. We still spent a lot of time together and one summer I spent a week with his grandparents at Bilston.

We diverged after GCE when I entered the sixth form while Anthony, denied entrance, went to technical college in Birmingham. His best friend there, Paddy, joined a group of us which included Bob and Trevor from school. We would meet for mild escapades and card playing at weekends. Going to pubs ceased to be as exciting when we turned 18 and reached legal age.

Anthony went to Aston University to study maths  but failed the first year. He then came to Loughborough,. where I was.. to do a degree in civil engineering. At university we actually saw little of each other. Most of my free time was taken up with Annette while Anthony, who had a motorbike, had many interests. I most recall him talking about hitch-hiking races. I only ever used hitch hiking once for transport.

When we graduated we both married; Anthony to Christine a rather quiet girl who came from a moderately prosperous family. I remember being slightly surprised as Christine was a rather down to earth girl and not all the sort of brash person I expected. I liked her. They spent a year in London where they had their first baby. I committed the great sin when by rather than cooing I exclaimed “but he’s got a funny shaped head”. I remember Christine saying she was rather concerned and nobody else had mentioned it. I think she was rather relieved that I had commented.

After his London year Anthony was on site at the big M6/M56 junction near Manchester and they were both living in the site encampment in a caravan. First born  baby Julian was being raised by Nancy. I remember that Anthony had built an elaborate porch to what was after all a caravan.

After this Anthony got a job with a smaller company which seemed to specialise in producing aggregate by demolishing WW11 airfields. They appeared to settle to a country cottage .near Twycross. We exchanged occasional visits and went on outings as a foursome including once to Blackpool Illuminations. I think the last time we met was when we visited them to show off baby Martin. On our next visit the house was shuttered and empty. I found out only later that Anthony and Christine had split up and he had married again to someone of whom his parents did not approve ( a young bimbo was one description! )

My mother wrote to me of his death shortly afterwards. I couldn’t attend the funeral as I was in the throes of trying to keep my job with Unichema. It is my lasting regret that I didn’t visit Nancy in her old age. She had asked me to go when she had Christine with her as they stayed very close. I did attend Nancy’s funeral when I was pleased to see Julian and his brother Marcus as fine young men and to tell them a little about my relationship with their